So You Want to Be an Engineering Manager? Advice from an Engineering Leader
At some point in your engineering journey, you might start wondering: “What’s next for me? Should I go deeper into tech, or should I explore leading people?” If you’re asking that question, you’re already on the cusp of an important transition. Becoming an engineering manager isn’t just a title change - it’s a shift in mindset, focus, and responsibility. And it’s a journey that requires thoughtful reflection, deliberate action, and continuous learning.
As someone who’s mentored dozens of engineers through this transition, let me share some honest, experience-backed advice on what it really means to be an engineering manager, especially in those crucial first couple of years.
Understanding the Role
First, let’s get clear on what an engineering manager (EM) is - and isn’t.
An EM is not the “boss” of the team in the traditional sense. You’re not there to hand out tasks or watch over shoulders. You’re there to enable, guide, and amplify. Your role is to help your team deliver software effectively while making sure they grow, stay engaged, and feel fulfilled in their work.
You still use your technical background - make no mistake. But instead of writing code all day, you’re thinking about how to build an environment where others can write great code consistently. You’re connecting dots, removing roadblocks, managing expectations, and nurturing talent.
What You’ll Actually Be Doing
Most new managers are surprised by how different the day-to-day looks. If you’re moving into management expecting to still do a lot of coding, you might want to hit pause.
Your calendar will soon be filled with 1:1s, planning meetings, hiring interviews, feedback sessions, and cross-functional syncs. These aren’t distractions from the job - they are the job. One-on-one meetings, for example, become a critical ritual. They’re where you listen to your team’s concerns, understand their aspirations, catch early signs of burnout or disengagement, and offer feedback. They aren’t status updates - they’re where trust is built, and people problems are solved before they escalate.
You’ll also spend a good deal of energy coordinating delivery. That doesn’t mean breathing down engineers’ necks for ETAs - it means helping teams plan realistically, protecting focus time, ensuring dependencies are clear, and making sure quality doesn’t suffer under pressure. It’s a subtle art of balancing business urgency with engineering discipline.
When Should You Consider Becoming an Engineering Manager?
I often see engineers lured into management because it seems like the “next step” in the ladder. But it’s not a promotion - it’s a pivot. The best time to make this shift is when you’re already showing signs of informal leadership: mentoring juniors, taking initiative to fix processes, influencing team direction, and stepping up during crises.
If you enjoy helping people unblock themselves more than solving the problem yourself, or if you find yourself gravitating toward team health and product clarity, it’s a good sign you’re ready. On the other hand, if you’re still deeply in love with the technical depth of your craft - and that’s perfectly valid - you may not want to give up the hands-on aspect just yet.
The Foundation You’ll Need
To make a successful transition, you’ll need a few solid foundations. First, your technical credibility must be established. You don’t need to be the smartest engineer in the room, but your team needs to trust your judgment. You’ll still be reviewing designs, guiding architectural decisions, and occasionally getting into the weeds.
Second, communication becomes your superpower. You’ll write more docs, send more Slack/Teams messages, and have more conversations than you ever did as an IC. The ability to communicate clearly, empathetically, and persuasively is what separates good EMs from great ones.
Third, you need emotional intelligence. You’ll be navigating career aspirations, interpersonal conflicts, and sometimes personal issues. Being calm, fair, and empathetic under pressure becomes part of your daily job description.
Is It a One-Way Door?
A common fear among new managers is, “What if I hate it? Can I go back?”
The short answer: Yes, you can. It’s not a one-way door, but it does get harder the longer you stay in management. Skills atrophy. Tech moves fast. That said, many companies today support dual tracks, and a move from EM back to a senior IC role like Staff Engineer or Architect is increasingly common.
Still, you should give management a genuine shot - ideally 12 to 18 months - before making that call. The first six months can be disorienting. You won’t get the same dopamine rush from shipping a PR, and you’ll sometimes feel invisible. But with time, the satisfaction shifts: from personal wins to team wins.
How Is Your Success Measured?
You may wonder how you’ll know you’re doing well.
Unlike engineering, where outcomes are visible in code and features, management impact is fuzzier. But there are ways to measure effectiveness. Do people on your team feel psychologically safe and supported? Are they growing in their roles? Are you hitting delivery targets without burning people out? Are you contributing to org-wide hiring and process improvements?
Your key result areas might include team velocity, quality metrics, team retention, engagement survey results, or even stakeholder satisfaction. But more than numbers, it’s the health of your team - both emotional and operational - that tells your story.
Taking Time to Reflect
You’ll need to build a regular habit of reflection. Just like we hold sprint retros to inspect and adapt, you should do the same with your leadership style. What’s working? Where did you miss the mark? What’s the feedback you’re hearing (or not hearing)?
Keep a journal, seek feedback from your team and peers, and watch your blind spots. Self-awareness is one of the most underrated traits in management.
Building the Next Generation of Leaders
One of the most fulfilling parts of being an EM is grooming future leaders. Spotting potential, giving someone a chance to lead a project, coaching them through tough calls - this is where you move from being a manager to a multiplier.
Invest in your team’s growth. Create space for them to experiment, fail, and learn. Share context, not just instructions. And most importantly, be transparent about what management really involves - so they can make an informed choice when their time comes.
Parting Words
The transition to engineering management is equal parts exciting and overwhelming. It’s a role that demands patience, resilience, and humility. But it also offers unmatched opportunities to shape culture, drive impact, and make a lasting difference - not just in the codebase, but in people’s lives.
You won’t get everything right, and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re committed to learning, listening, and growing every day. If that sounds like a challenge you’re up for, then welcome aboard. The journey won’t be easy - but it will be worth it.